How To Make A Man Chase After You (No Games Required)

I spent more time than I like to admit chasing after men, attempting to persuade the man of the moment that he really liked me.

It was a horrible experience. I felt worse and worse about myself and my love life with each rejection. I couldn’t figure out why I was calling men first, asking them out, and expressing interest.

I had no idea that figuring out how to have him chase you instead was a crucial element of dating and building a relationship.

When I put myself in the driver’s seat when it came to my encounters with guys, it always backfired spectacularly.

The sadness persisted until I discovered a few things about how men are simply hardwired differently than women.

Why would you want to make a man chase after you?
When I say that males are hunters who enjoy the pursuit, people become enraged. And I can see why. On the surface, it appears that I’m making a derogatory remark.

“The pursuit” makes it sound as if I’m saying that males aren’t deserving or good enough for women to be interested in them.

Men always declare that if a lady they like expressed interest in them, they would be ecstatic. And they aren’t exaggerating. Unfortunately, men and women have vastly diverse interpretations of what it means to “express interest.” Male attraction necessitates two factors: Sexual arousal and

“The penis does the selection,” says Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger. If a man isn’t physically attracted to you, he won’t feel compelled to pursue you further.

You might have fascinating chats that go on for hours. It’s possible that you’ve had sex. You might glimpse his “true potential” and fall in love with him. Unfortunately, if he doesn’t find you sexually appealing, the relationship will never go beyond friends-with-benefits status.

The second, less well-known aspect of this equation is that masculine energy is happiest when it is accomplishing something. Men’s masculine sphere is where they find success in relationships. It takes a lot of effort to make a woman happy. Proposing and “bringing home the bacon” are two things that come to mind.

In the early phases of dating, masculine achievement appears to be the act of persuading you to consent to small tokens of interest. Simple accomplishments include “grabbing a number,” “getting a woman to text/call back,” and “getting her to agree to a date.”

This is why, after getting women’s phone digits at bars, some guys high-five each other. They’ve won something, even if it’s in the tiniest of ways. Personally, I’ve never had a competition with my girlfriends to see how many dudes’ numbers we can round up in one night. I’m prepared to wager that neither have you.

The issue with chasing men is this.

The hot pursuit method works well in most aspects of our modern life. Do you want that job? Get that job or start your own business. Do you want to buy that house? You can buy it for yourself if you save up enough money. Do you want that man? That’s when things get a little complicated.

It’s all too easy to believe that we should be able to make things happen in our relationships in the same way we do in the rest of our life. Herculean effort, to be precise. Excessive effort not only does not work, but it is also a simple method to completely ruin things.

Pursuing men doesn’t work for a variety of reasons, one of which is that the energy of achievement and striving is masculine. If you march over, tell him he’s hot, and tell him you want to meet him next Tuesday at 8 p.m. while forcing your business card in his face, he won’t be able to achieve. There is no enigma. In your interactions, you’ve assumed the male role.

The second reason why pursuing men fails is that you enter the domain of “here’s why you should like me.” You’re inadvertently giving away your power and exuding a repulsive, desperate vibe.

Here’s how to get him to chase you instead:
1. Don’t plan your entire life around him.

Continue with your everyday routine and don’t eliminate or skip anything that you would normally do solely to create time for him.

For instance, don’t forego your daily gym session or some much-needed self-care for him.

How to do it right: Don’t appear to be continually busy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, or he’ll assume you’re not interested. Find a sliver of time for him and make it appear as if you were able to carve out some time for him in your hectic day.

Don’t abandon your goals, give up your interests, or do anything else to make him the center of your universe.

2. Make use of your feminine magnetism.
Being a woman will draw his attention to you, but you must demonstrate that you are interested without doing all of the work.

Using your feminine energy, for example, appears to be joyful, lively, flirty, and receptive to his approaches. He must be the one who seeks out more of your time and attention while you accept and love it.

How to do it correctly: Don’t accept everything that comes your way. Allow a man to show his interest in you by communicating with you on a regular basis and attempting to date you. Make him fit into your ambitions and life in the same way that you do.

3. Make him remember you.
Make a point of doing something unique with him before you leave him for the day or night so that he can’t forget about you.

For instance, on a date, make sure you kiss him last on your way out the door so he can’t stop thinking about the next time he can feel your lips on his.

How to do it right: Don’t go overboard by being intimate with him before you’re ready or giving in to his demands. Leave certain things to your imagination, and don’t let him pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.

4. Have trust that the right man will find you eventually.
If a man doesn’t approach you, assume he’s giving you a soft “no” or “not right now,” and let him go. He won’t actively pursue you if he isn’t meant for you or doesn’t want to get to know you.

Try manifesting the proper man, believing that he will come for you when the moment is right and that you are deserving. If he believes you’re worth pursuing, he’ll come after you and pursue you.

How to do it correctly: Don’t use every technique in the book to get him to pursue you down. Spiritually, there isn’t much you can do to compel someone to follow you.

5. Maintain a sense of mystery.
Stop attempting to establish your worth or justify why you and your partner would be a good match. He needs to figure it out for himself, and if he’s truly interested, he’ll be the one asking all or nearly all of the questions you do. The correct one will be so enthralled by you that he won’t be able to let you go.

When he asks what you do on dates, for example, don’t mention your dating guidelines or explain why the two of you are a good match. Instead, offer him a half-answer to his question so that if he truly wants to learn more about you, he will pursue you and strive to understand you.

How to do it correctly: Give him no non-answers. It may appear suspicious and strange if you refuse to ask a question or jump to a new topic.

6. Work together to create activities.
Even if it’s just starting a new Netflix show with him, try to come up with some hobbies, pastimes, or games that the two of you might like. Make him think of you the next time he wants to do something similar, and he’ll contact you.

Plan a date around doing something together, such as playing games or going to a trivia night, and even if it’s not a physical activity, it may be as simple as emailing each other memes.

How to do it right: Don’t try to text or phone him every time you want to do something similar with him, or send too many memes. Allow him to pick up on it and think of you as much as you think of him.

7. Text him or send him a flirtatious photo.
If you casually send him a couple of flirty texts or maybe a seductive picture, he’ll remember you and want to see you again.

Put on a cute clothing and maybe a little makeup, then send him a picture or text saying how cute you feel today and wait for him to answer.

How to do it right: Don’t go too far, such as sending nudes or sexts, because you can end up turning the connection into something more casual, which isn’t what you wanted.

8. Do not make touch with him.
This is arguably the oldest technique in the book, but it does work on occasion. If you’ve been on a date with a guy you like and asked him out for the first time, give him the opportunity to pursue you.

Example: Don’t text him after a date or after he sent you a message. Give him some time to realize you didn’t respond and he will text you back if he wants to keep talking and getting to know you.

How to do it right: Don’t wait too long to text him or he might think you are ghosting him. It’s best to wait for him to text back and then you can respond as usual. However, if he doesn’t text back the first time, then there might not be a strong attraction there.

9. Be a first for him.

When you’re getting to know him ask about something he’s never done and plan your next date, or maybe your first date, around that.

Example: Ask him what he hasn’t done before or maybe something he hasn’t tried before and then plan a date around that. If that’s never eating sushi, then go to a sushi restaurant for dinner and experience a first with him and he will remember that experience with you in his mind.

How to do it right: Don’t do something that will take things too far, like taking his virginity or something intense that’s too personal. If things turn for the worst, I’m sure you don’t want to be a part of an important memory that he will remember for the long term.

10. Don’t immediately try to define the relationship.

While it’s important to know what you’re looking for as you’re dating, you can’t expect a relationship from every guy you meet. Don’t be afraid to take things casual at first and see where they go.

Example: Be open about what you’re looking for if and when he asks, but make a note that you’re realistic about dating and don’t force him to define the relationship right away.

How to do it right: If the relationship ends up being too casual, don’t act like you’re into it and let him know that’s not what you actually wanted. If he doesn’t want things to be more serious then you should get out while you can so your feelings don’t get hurt.

I used to think that showing a man obvious interest by moving things along was confident, not needy. When I dug deeper, I realized that the reason this behavior is deemed “needy” is that I really wanted the guy to chase me and be interested in me! If a man rejected me, it ruined my whole day.

People want things that are precious and rare.

And precious, you hardly look rare while you’re blowing up his phone and falling all over him trying to get a date or reassurance that he wants you. Quitting the chase was like getting off the ‘man drugs’. Once I kicked the habit, I found that the quality of men who pursued me increased astronomically.

To make him miss you, you have to let your guard down and let him take initiative. That will show you that he wants to make effort to see and talk to you because a part of him misses you.

If you’re not the first to text him, then you will be on his mind when he realizes you didn’t respond to him.

A man’s feelings can’t grow and intensify for you if you’re standing over him, hands-on-hips, wondering if he’s in love with you yet. You have to make him feel addicted to you.