7 Solutions That Can Save a Relationship

It’s a rare relationship who doesn’t hit a few speed bumps along the way. However, if you know what those relationship issues are ahead of time, you’ll have a lot greater chance of overcoming them.

According to Mitch Temple, marriage and family therapist and author of The Marriage Turnaround, “successful couples have learnt how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going” despite the fact that every relationship has its ups and downs. They persevere, solve challenges, and learn how to deal with the complexities of daily life. Many people learn how to do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, witnessing other happy couples, or simply trial and error.

Communication is a problem in relationships.

According to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families, many marital issues begin from a lack of communication. She claims that “you can’t communicate while checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or browsing through the sports section.”

Problem-solving techniques include:

Make a date with each other, according to Shimberg. Put your phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail take your calls if you live together.

If you can’t “communicate” without yelling, go to a public place like a library, park, or restaurant where you won’t be ashamed if anybody hears you.

Set some ground rules. Try not to interrupt until your spouse has finished speaking, and refrain from saying things like “You always…” or “You never…”

Use your body language to demonstrate that you’re paying attention. Doodle, check at your watch, or pick at your nails are all bad ideas. Nod to let the other person know you’ve received the message, and repeat if necessary. “What I hear you saying is that you feel like you have more chores at home, even though we’re both working,” for example. If you’re correct, the other person can vouch for you. If the other person was actually saying, “Hey, you’re a slob, and you make more work for me by making me clean up after you,” they could express it in a better way.

Sex is a problem in relationships.

Sexually, even partners who love each other can be a mismatch. According to Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, these issues are exacerbated by a lack of sexual self-awareness and education. But, according to Fay, having sex is one of the last things you should give up. “Sex brings us closer together, produces hormones that aid our bodies both physically and psychologically, and maintains a healthy couple’s chemistry healthy,” she explains.